I think I have cracked up or something. Honestly. For some very unknown reason, I have signed up for NaBloPoMo, yet again (short for “National Blog Posting Month” :in order to participate, you need to post at least one post daily for the entire month). Knowing my track record with doing any kind of disciplined writing, this is ridiculous. Especially now, when I don’t have time for anything, anyways. And yet I signed up! Told you, I have cracked up.
Anyway, it seems like Nablopomo has changed quite a bit since the last time I signed up for it. They have a theme now, now. No, it’s not a typo. That is the theme for June 2010: Now. And they have a writing prompt (hopefully, they will have it everyday. It will make writing daily so much easier, not that I am promising anything. Let’s take one day at a time). Today’s writing prompt says:
When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?
A very straightforward question, I must say. Especially when asked to an Indian middle class kid. We are usually given two option with that question: engineer or doctor, and depending on whether you are strong in mathematics or biology, you pick one of them.
Even though, I always picked engineering as a kid when asked this question, yet I never really wanted to be one. Or, more honestly, I didn’t know what exactly being an engineer meant. I simply said that as that’s what was expected of me. Yet, during those times I secretly nourished yet another dream: to be a photographer for National Geographic magazine. Well that’s how I used to think. Now, at least I can correctly formulate that ambition: I wanted to be a wild life photographer. Of course, I never said that one out loud. I didn’t know how to achieve that ambition, anyways. Though I don’t think that that would have kept me from trying it.
My dream was shattered by a Discovery program. Yes, the Discovery channel’s program. The program I am referring to, was a showcase for exotic foods from different parts of the world. In this particular episode, they were eating FRIED COCKROACHES! The 15 year old me was terrified. Not because anyone could ever make me eat one of those, even if I was dying of starvation (Fried Cockroaches = Exotic food? Really? ), but because this episode made me realize that working as a photographer, visiting different countries and rain forests etc., will also mean eating a very different kind of food. I wasn’t sure that I could cope with that. And that was the end of that ambition.
Now, fifteen years or so later, I know I was right. Over the time, I have discovered that I can’t digest red meat and hence, I can’t eat anywhere and everywhere. Yet, I never gave up on that ambition entirely. Over the 
years, I have acquired a nice camera, the skill and techniques required. While doing that, I have also realized that I am happier while taking pictures of people than wildlife or nature or monuments.
The ambition has become a hobby (border lining with obsession, at times). There are good parts and bad parts of photography being a hobby and not a profession. Good part: I don’t have to deal with stress of getting a good photograph and hence, go for the “typical shots”. I get to experiment and take the pictures I would like to take. Bad part: I don’t get as many opportunities to hone my skills as I would have gotten being a professional photographer.
Life is so unexpected that way. So how about you? Any childhood ambitions/day-dreams that you might have given up or achieved?
P.S.: 1. As a kid (well a teenager, really), when asked about hobbies, I used to say, “Photography, even though I don’t have a camera, yet” . So my parents took the hint and gifted me a Kodak film camera on my 18th birthday. The best birthday present EVER.
2. Even though I didn’t follow my first ambition, I did find yet another field I was passionate about: Geophysics (it took me a while though). It has the right mix of mathematics, physics and field work for me. Besides being a day-dreamer, I was also a geek. I always loved mathematics and physics as subjects. I would have missed them, had I strayed away from science.
Good one Richa. You are spot-on about the expectation that Indian middle-class parents have about their kids' ambitions. Thankfully, in my case, I wanted to be an engineer simply because I was good in Maths.
ReplyDeleteOf course, I've had other ambitions too. When I was in primary school, I was already an expert in bus routes, timings etc etc. And, believe it or not, I used to say that I wanted to become a bus conductor!
I do love writing, travelling, photography. It is sad that I am mighty hesitant to turn any of these interests into a career - that I am stuck up in a techie job even though I dont exactly enjoy it. This, I am sure, is the case with an overwhelming majority of the engineers.
Whatever happened to "ambition"!
Nice post, in childhood I was awe inspired to join Indian Army. As a result, I joined Sainik School Kunjpura, Karnal (Haryana), a special army residential school in 6th grade after successfully appearing for an entrance test taken by 30K students. But somehow I could make it to the Army and after my schooling, I was disappointed that I couldn't be want I really wanted to be, but later I did my engineering. So, my ambition remained unfulfilled and accidentally I'm a software engineer now :). Like you said- ambitions have become a hobby and there are new ones now, so trying for them.
ReplyDeleteLoved this post...thanks for taking us through that journey. I wanted to be a sports journalist when I was younger but then realised that my personality was exactly the opposite to that of a journalist i.e shy, introverted, socially anxious! I think the only other thing at the moment I would like to do is write...which is something I continue to do anyway. I love what I do for my job...rebelled against the medicine and engineering path. =)
ReplyDeleteThanks Kiran!
ReplyDeleteHmm...bus conductor. that's interesting. guess you liked to travel and thought being bus conductor will give you a free pass. One of my uncle used to be a bus conductor. He retired a while back but he has traveled almost whole India using the free bus passes.
Oh well, hobbies are good way of doing things that you might not be able to do professionally.
As for ambition: well we are never given any other option as a kid. It's either engineering or medicine. So the youngster simply invest themselves in becoming one of these never stopping to think what they want to do. And if one of them do try to choose a profession which isn't either of them, he/she is usually made fun of. The society usually think that they are without any ambition, while in reality they are the one who had real ambition and want to achieve it, instead of falling with the crowd.
One of my friend had the same ambition and he as very well determined to achieve it as well. I think he gave the test for about 12-14 times before he was successful. He simply refused to give up his ambition to be in army.
ReplyDeleteBut I know, it's hard to have so much determination and especially to go against the norm of society in order to achieve it.
I bet you would have been much better than Mandira Bedi. :)
ReplyDeleteI understand completely how hard it is to see your dreams in the practicality of real life. To measure yourself with the difficulties of the path ahead and realizing that after all, you might not be able to do it and then give that path up. But guess, once you do start dreaming about things you really want to be, it is hard to go back into the crowd mentality and achieving the goals that society deems as good.
I don't get though, why we as a society, so keen at producing doctors and engineers? There are plenty of other jobs that pay well or pay enough. isn't it more important to be happy instead of being wealthy or society-norm-successful?
Anyway, thanks for sharing your thoughts. Nice to know something new about you :)
Hi there!! :) I didnt know you blogged too, though i am a regular viewer of your shutterchance photostream! :D
ReplyDeleteThis post took me back to my childhood... The very first time i had wanted to be something when i grew up, was when i broke a thermometer as a kid. And i spilled mercury all over the floor. Of course, i didnt know that it was mercury, then. But then i took those mercury globules in my palm and noticed that 2 globules became one when they were bought close to each other. To me, mercury didnt look like liquid at that time, and I thought I had discovered a new substance. Something that is inside the thermometer and has this amazing quality of becoming one, just by being near each other!! I still remember how excited I was, and I ran to my mom showing her what i had "discovered". Anyhoo, since that time i knew I had to become a person who invents new things. Later on I found out they are generally known as scientists. I still had that in the back of my mind that i wanted to invent new things till a few years back. But once I was done with my masters last year, I think that dream of becoming a scientist/researcher just disappeared. :D . And I seriously doubt if I would ever get that ambition back..hehe. Now i think im living my other ambition of getting paid to sleep on my desk and being a couch potato!!
Hi Neha!
ReplyDeleteGlad to see you here! BTW congratulations for winning the Blogadda contest! You deserved it..
Yep, I blog too. I also didn't realize that you also blogged till I saw your entry in Blogadda. It was a strange coincidence.
Hmm...so you wanted to invent things. Trust me I am on the other side of that ambition (researcher/scientist) and I am inventing nothing. Being a researcher/scientist is great at times and you do get to work on something new, but a discoveries/inventions are rare and usually based on more than one research efforts. The foundation is laid by researchers before you and you might or might not, be able to put things together and take it a bit more forward. It's an extremely slow process and risks of failure are very high. It can be very frustrating. But when things do work out: it's fun!
I am looking forward to be paid for sleeping and being a couch potato.. I am done playing the scientist. :)