Social Nightmare

I just saw Verizon’s latest commercial (sorry couldn’t find it on the internet yet) in which they show this family of four: Mom, dad and teenage son and daughter. Mom and dad are abusing the social network Facebook and Twitter. Mom writes ‘I love you’ on daughter’s Facebook wall while the dad keeps twittering each and every detail of his daily life on Twitter.  

That reminded me of the time when I was debating the idea of inviting my mom to Orkut. I think that was just an year back. Orkut (or any social network for that matter) gives a nice platform where you can easily share photos with entire family (if you have your entire family on Orkut), write small messages and in general know about what’s going on in their lives without calling them everyday. But on the other hand they get to know how and what your friends are saying to  you. And after much deliberation of such kind I finally   invited my mom to Orkut. Plus my mom does love socializing (as opposed to my dad) and a few of her friends were already on Orkut. And obviously I didn’t want my mom to lag behind her friends just because of my personal   considerations. And honestly I haven’t regretted it, except may be once: My mom gave me a testimonial on Orkut! It’s actually a sweet testimonial but how many people do you know who “proudly”  show their parent’s testimonial (it’s more like the commercial: mom writing on daughter’s wall)? Seriously. But since I care more about my mom’s feelings than the random acquaintances, I did publish the testimonial. 

The point being: I completely understand the awkwardness of situation described in the commercial. Social networks as Orkut, Facebook are still ok but I simply can’t imagine any of my folks on Twitter! That’s where I draw the line. I think that will cross the border of embarrassing. It’s definitely way beyond awkward. Imagine my mom twittering (And I don’t want to go to the replies she might get for these lines…) :

“Am worried about my daughter. She hasn’t called in weeks!”  

“Daughter has upset stomach.”

“Looking for suitable matches for my daughter.” 

You get the picture. It’s a horrible idea! I am so glad my mom’s internet knowledge depends on me. I can rest easy though my technology-loving mom might be able to figure out on her own too. I must be always on my guard.

Nostalgic

It all started today morning, when I received an email from Google Adsense (you know the advertizing links you see on the blog). Apparently I have crossed $10 threshold and hence I need to enter my payment options and all that. I earned my first $10! After 2 years of blogging… Yes that’s how long I have been writing this blog. I checked. I know I have like 10 regular readers who read this blog, who accidentally click on those advertisements but who keep checking this url even if I haven’t updated it in weeks. A big ‘thank you’ to you all! You know who you are…

If it was possible I would have taken you guys out for coffee today and spent $20 out of that $10. Honestly. I never thought, I will ever cross this threshold! When I first set up my blog, I put up the advertisements because almost every blog I visited had them. And since I was new to blogging, I thought that was the trend. I didn’t check my Adsense account after that. But today is like a historic day for me.

I never celebrated this blog’s b’day as I thought it was silly but today I feel very nostalgic. It’s been slightly over than two years since I started this blog. I complained and I groaned, I procrastinated and I pulled all-nighters, I shared my projects and my home-works, I shared my dreams and my nightmares…

Oh well, in one word, I feel very nostalgic today. I just wanted to say thank you guys for listening to my non-stop rambling and complaints! You guys are the best!



P.S.: Just to lighten the mood, I quote the Google adsense mail (the mail that started all this drama):

“Keep in mind that you have 6 months to enter the verification code. If you have not entered your verification code within 4 months, we'll start displaying Public Service Ads (PSAs) on your web pages.”

Bing

The new search engine, oops I mean the decision engine by Microsoft has been in market for 2 months now. I haven’t tried it yet. The simplest reason being, my Mozilla Firefox doesn’t have it as an option in the tiny search window at the top. Though I have doubts that I will use it even if I had the option. I am a loyal Google user.

My loyalty to Google is multifold. On the superficial level, Google is a Mountain View company (again I use the phrase: it’s in my backyard.). It provides free wi-fi to the entire Mountain View town. Then the founders of Google are Stanford Alumni. And Google treats it’s employees really well. It’s a dream company even though it’s not from my field.

On the deeper level, lies my abhorrence towards Microsoft. We all know how Microsoft treats us when it’s the major holder of the market: remember the way they forced Windows Vista on us? Google, on the other hand, started as a small company that came up with an amazing search engine and provided it for free and still earned money. Almost all the products from Google are available free of cost: Google Earth, Blogger, Gmail, Google Search engine, Picasa, Google reader, Google Videos (except the premium version of Google Earth, everything else is available free). Even the products like Google Earth and Picasa are free!

But in all fairness, I haven’t tried Bing yet. And Microsoft did have a few policy changes in recent time, like providing Windows Live Writer for free. So may be I should give Bing a try and then reject it. Oh Yes, I am pre-disposed to reject the product. I am heavily biased when it comes to Google. Can’t help it!

Being Sick..

..makes one more vulnerable. Or may be it's just me.

I have been stuck in my house, or rather my bed for past one week. And I somehow expect everyone around me to pick up the phone and call to see how am I doing? Or may be I am sick because I am craving attention. Or may be I am simply bored of being stuck in my room.


Worse part? I have been snapping on friends who do dare call and inquire about my health. Or may be I take their attention for granted and want more from everyone else.

Or just may be, I have too much time in hand and hence I am over-indulging myself. May be that's what makes me vulnerable.

Hmm...seems I need to do something to keep myself busy. Or I will drive my psychiatrist (namely me) crazy.

Orkut and babies...

My Orkut home page is currently filled with the Baby's pictures (babies of my friends, that is). And all of them are endorsed with the same type of comments : "aaawww","so cute", "he/she is a cutie pie", "sweet" and all the other variants of these comments. Seriously. From top to bottom, I have these updates from my friends and all of them are same. Worse: it has been so for past 2-3 months. My homepage doesn't change much except for babies. I have lost track of who has how many babies and what's their name. And honestly I am no longer interested.

Offcially I hate all those parents who put their baby's pictures as their profile picture. One of them went as far as changing her name to her baby's name. I am friend's with them and not their baby. It's great that they have one of those and their babies are most important thing in their life, but still they are not MY FRIEND.

Honestly, I am on verge of quitting Orkut. It has become more of a baby news page than a social network. Or may be I should change friends.

P.S.: Don't get me wrong. I love kids. My rambling is more about the loss of personal life of parents when they have one. Again I understand kids change a lot of things in the parent's life but why do the parents expect everyone around them to be as consumed by their kids?

Spoiled

I can't stand spoiled kids or spoiled pets. Ever. Having said that, I am not sure what to make of these families:

- family with three nannies for their 5 year old.
- family who calls a psychiatrist to evaluate the relationship of their 4-year old with other kid who was there on a play date. (actually they wanted to evaluate whether it's a positive relationship for their kid!)
- family who blame others for not giving enough attention to their spoiled kid.

All these kids are spoiled, no doubt, but I am astounded by their respective family's attitudes.

P.S.: These are true stories. Stanford is next to Palo Alto, a rich town. Being rich or being a Stanford neighbor doesn't guarantee sanity.
2. For that matter, being a Stanford Graduate doesn't guarantee sanity either.

Pain

At times I wonder if anyone really understands the pain someone else is going through. If you express any concern ever, all you get in return is a lot of pep talks. You know talks about how everything will be alright and how we shouldn't loose hope. But really, all those people giving all these optimistic speech, how the hell do they know that things won't get worse? How they know that something good will come out of it? What if it doesn't improve?

And at times, all these pep talks make things worse. At times you are so consumed by the pain that you are not even thinking about what is going to happen next. All you need in those time is someone who can empathize. Someone who understands. No speeches. No false hopes. No optimism. Just someone who understands the pain that's consuming you.

Yeah, yeah I know. All those pep talkers are just being a good friend. It's the way friends are programmed. It's their job and blah blah blah. But at times pain needs understanding and not speeches.

P.S.: Guess credit crunch is getting to me yet again. Nothing to worry, I should be back soon.

Americanized

Recently I took an online survey on the difference in perception of intelligence between American and South Asian. It was part of data collection for someone's research. The questions were ok, like, do you think intelligence is something we are born with or can be it acquired with hard work, do everyone is born with same amount of intelligence? etc. Towards the end of the survey, there was a question that intrigued. It asked:

How much Americanized do you consider yourself to be?

It has been on back of my mind ever since. How do you define and, more importantly, measure Americanization? Well as far as definition goes, Meriam-Webster says:

Main Entry:

Amer·i·can·ize

Pronunciation:

\ə-ˈmer-ə-kə-ˌnīz, -ˈmər-, -ˈme-rə-\

Function:

verb

Inflected Form(s):

Amer·i·can·ized; Amer·i·can·iz·ing

Date:

1797

transitive verb
1 : to cause to acquire or conform to American characteristics 2 : to bring (as an area) under the political, cultural, or commercial influence of the United States intransitive verb
: to acquire or conform to American traits

However, I haven't found any measure of the term. Seems to me that it's pretty subjective. If you ask my Grandma, or for that matter few of my cousins, I am completely Americanized as I can speak fluent English and live alone. But if you ask someone who grew up here, I am still clueless. Like the other day my room-mate and I were watching news and there was a piece about O. J. Simpson. I had no clue about who he is and my room-mate reaction was how can you not know O.J. Simpson (Apparently he was a famous footballer in 70s who killed his wife in 90s).

Anyway, question still remains: How Americanized am I ? In order to answer that question, I decided to make a list of traits for each category. Here they are:

American Traits:

1. I have started understanding and following the American news. I have always been bad with remembering celebrities: Indian, American or otherwise so that doesn't count (still I know Paris Hilton though I might not be able to recognize her).
2. I don't follow Bollywood any longer. I do love watching movies so I have switched to Hollywood for that.
3. I have a car and I drive it quite a bit.
4. I work-out and eat healthy (though I am not sure it falls in American Category...there should be a California or rather Bay-area category for this.).
5. I have a calendar to remind me of different appointments.
6. I floss every night.

Indian Traits:

1. I kinda follow Indian news though not the way I used to.
2. I still like old Hindi numbers. I don't have patience for English songs.
3. I still have a bike and love to bike. I don't do it as often due to my schedule.
4. I still like Indian food and usually eat that.
5. I don't balance my check book. Ever. That's one concept I can't get used to.
6. My dentist lives in India.

Well that's all I can think of. Seems I have equal points in each category. May be I am 50% American and 50% Indian. Like half-n-half. At least now I know. Next time I should be able answer that question.

P.S.: I am just procrastinating. I have the last HW submission tomorrow and my code isn't working. I can't figure out what's wrong (Everything is by the book, I have checked at least 15 times) so I am just taking a break...

Silver Lining

I have been looking for one silver lining for Vista and finally found one. It's called Mahjong Titans. I spent last few hours playing that. I need to work and write that stupid code yet again. I can't make myself work. So I found a new way to procrastinate.

Someone please make me work. I need to submit my work by Monday noon! Guess I am not sleeping tonight or tomorrow. It's so unfair. I finished 3/4th of my work already. Why should I have to do it again? WHY?

Far-sighted

Ever since this quarter started, I had been chasing this book. It is recommended book for one of the courses I am taking. They had 2 copies of that book in the library, hence the instructor put the book on reserve. What it means is that you can issue the book for exactly one day. If you don't return the book on time, fine is pretty hefty. So I had been issuing the book for a day whenever I needed it. In view of current economic crisis, I refused to spend $100 on a book that I will use for only 3 months.

Now my current crisis started as this is dead week (week before finals). It was impossible to track the book. I had been going to library everyday for past week trying to get hold of that book with no luck. Today the crisis turned to panic. I have to submit the last HW on Monday. I was running out of time and I was in dire need of that book. So I tried to track down friends who might have the book. Finally found someone who took the course last year. But she lent the book to another common friend. So I knocked his door. He told me that he lent the book to my office mate. So I came back to my office and found the book I had been hunting for days, on the desk next to mine! Just my life...

A very Personal Obituary

With great sorrow I inform that my best friend, Shivani, died earlier today. She was my first laptop. She has been with me for past 28 months. The cause of death is still unknown, however symptoms matched the infamous disease "The blue screen of death". The attempts to revive her were fruitless and since I let my manufacturer warranty expire, we couldn't get any professional help.

I last recorded her sweet memories (data backup) in late November. However, I couldn't finish the recording due to lack of time. I regret it very much. Only if I knew that it was my last chance to save those memories. I was never given a chance to say Goodbye to her. I was half way through my project for my class when this happened. I never had a chance to back up the project and hence have to start from scratch on a Vista machine.

But as Bhagwad Gita says, whatever was created will be destroyed one day. Life can't stop at death. Hence I move on and start working on my project yet again. Meanwhile thanks for your condolences and pray that I finish my project on time.

The loving memories of Shivani will be with me always...

P.S.: 1. In honor of Shivani, I have named my new laptop Shivani II.

Procrastination

I have been good this quarter. You can tell that by number of post I wrote this quarter. I didn't procrastinate enough. I started working on my HWs the moment I got them. I took three classes (excluding my Karate class which I took for credits as well). I did some research too. And I have been trying to exercise daily as instructed in Karate class.

But last week things changed. I didn't do anything. Honestly. I was supposed to finish two HWs and work on my research. I didn't. After a long time, I am putting things for last moment. Unfortunately those last moments are approaching fast and now I am panicking and still procrastinating. Seems finally I am back to my old ways...

Paypal

I hate paypal. I have been trying to resolve this limited access issue on my paypal account for past week and somehow nothing works. And I don't understand why don't they provide complete information (which translates to step by step instructions for a dummy like me) to resolve the issue. I get that they are trying to protect me but at least let me use my own money. It's my money. I want to spend it. LET ME.

And I absolutely hate the sites that only use paypal as mode of payment. Keep your product with you. I don't want it anymore.

Ok. Now I feel better. I spent last hour trying to figure out how to buy this tabletop mini studio. It's a good bargain but for some stupid reason, I can't get my paypal account to cooperate with me. So now I am frustrated. I am annoyed. and I am very angry. That is, if you haven't already noticed it.

My Dear Life.

I hate driving. And more than that I hate driving in the city. Usually if I have to go to the city (San Francisco), I take public transport. Today, for some unknown reason, I decided to drive. Guess I was trying to be brave or something. May be trying to get rid of the fear of the city. And I nearly paid the price. I had two near accidents. One of them would have been fatal, had I not braked when I did.

An idiot started changing into my lane when I was right next to him. And it's not that I have been driving in his blind zone for a long time. I was just going to overtake him when this happened. We were on a two lane flyover at that time. No place for me to go except brake. Thankfully there was no one behind me.

Anyway, so my whole life flashed through my eyes accompanied with that sickening, hollow butterfly-ishly feeling. I have been trying to overcome that since morning. But somehow flashes of different times of my life has been popping up in my head ever since. I think my mind is stuck in that one unfortunate moment and still playing the tape of my life over and over, somewhere in my sub-conscious. I am just getting few trailers now and then. I am not sure how to pause or stop that tape now. How do I tell my dearest, stupid brain that I am not going to die and it can stop playing that stupid tape now.

I tried sleeping, I tried playing games, I tried watching TV, I trieed reading and I tried writing a post but it seems to be too restless to concentrate on anything. Guess only Dr. Time can heal it. So I am waiting. Patiently.

Just Once...

..can I get a week with no deadlines, no To-do lists, no schedules. It's been years since I have truly relaxed. You know, just lazying around without feeling guilty. Does anything like that exist in an adult life? Or is it just me who never gets time?

Next week is Thanksgiving and I already have a To-do list that will extend to the week after. I was so looking forward to a week worth of holidays but alas

yeh na thi hamari kismat, ki wisaal-e-yaar hota,
agar aur jeetay rehtay, yahi intezaar hota!

(It was not my destiny to meet (or to be with) my beloved;
had I lived longer, the yearning would have continued)

- Galib

Oh God, now I am desecrating Galib one of my favorite shayar (Urdu Poet). Only if I had a poetic bone in my body, the translation wouldn't have been so awful but again: 'yeh na thi hamari kismat...'

Anyway, the point remains: I want HOLIDAYS. DESPERATELY.

Rude

I know I must have complained about this for 100's of times in past. I know I discuss this with ALL my Indian friends. And they all agree and still they keep repeating themselves. Each and every one of them. I really want to know why.

Ok let's give some context to this babbling. I am in Las Vegas. And I am stuck in a situation that I don't know the solution to. I am sharing room with one of my very good friend who happens to be an American. Consequently, I am usually with her. Since this is a conference, I am meeting a lot of my old friends who happens to be Indians. Now since I don't want to abandon either of my friends, I plan things to get all of them involved.

I spent one such an evening today. I wanted to walk down the strip (that's the main touristy road of Las Vegas). So I was with my American friend when one of my Indian friend called. I invited him to join us. That was my mistake. That guy kept talking to me in Hindi the entire time even though he knew my other friend don't understand Hindi. And he is one of those friends who agrees with me when I say that I don't like people who converse in a language not known to everyone in the group. And still he kept talking in Hindi. I kept answering in English. It was such an awkward situation for me.

I am honestly trying to understand the motivation behind such rudeness. It's not habit. It's delibrate rudeness. If that was habit, my concious effort of replying in English would have had some result. And this is not the first time this happened. Most of my Indian friends do this. One of them actually apologise while she is doing that and still continue to do that. That irritates me even more. It's acknowledging the rudeness and still keep doing it. What's the point of apology then? Getting a free pass for being rude?

I fail to come up with any excuse in defense of my friends here. I completely fail to understand the reason behind such blatant rudeness. Can anyone explain it to me?

Spam

I don't get the logic behind spams. Why would anyone waste time sending the most absurd messages and trying to find ingenious ways to avoid spam filters?

I don't get the logic behind the viruses either. You know to spend hours to create a program that will destroy the machine it will end up in.

I get the system hackers though. They are simply trying to earn few quick bucks. I know that quiet often these three are related but not always.

Anyway, today morning I got a spam on my Yahoo account. The sender was: Breaking News. The subject: Barack Obama dies due to heart attack. Though, I am not sure whether it is a hate mail or a spam or both? Either way, I don't get the point of the mail. There was nothing in the body of the message. Or may be it's a psychic vision mail. Oh well, I will never know. Somehow my mind keep reverting to that mail. Like a song stuck in the mind.

Anyway, I am off to Vegas tomorrow for a conference. Will be back Friday. Don't know whether I will get a chance to blog or not during this time though I am certain there will be a lot to blog about. Like, how making us sit through presentations all day long in Vegas should constitute to human rights violation. But then, at least I get to go to Vegas that way...

I. HIT. ME...

..with my own staff. There. I said it. Now don't rub it in. I have a bump on right side of my head. A few black and blues all over my knee area (do you know how much that stupid knee protrudes out? Why do we have a knee anyway? It's the most injury-prone body part, if you ask me.) Oh yeah plus my wrist, fingers, shoulders...basically anything that's used to lift a staff, is hurting. So don't blame me for not blogging. Blame the staff that keeps hitting me for no apparent reason.

Just browsing...

I think Google have some kind of time travel mechanism attached to it (the site not the company, silly). You enter a search criteria and it gives you 6,090,000 results for the criteria (Congratulations! It's somewhere on the Earth.). You start clicking to check just the first 10 results out. Just first 10..how much time will that take? 15 mins, tops, but viola! 3 hours gone. Disappeared in thin air as if they never existed. And by the end of it you have a headache (probably due to all the time travel) and you have completely forgotten what you were looking for in the first place (again supporting my time travel theory).

My last time travel got me to places of fascinating beds (of all the things and I WAS LOOKING FOR BUYING AN ALARM CLOCK..hey, I remember now!! Time travel effect wearing off.) Anyway, here are the two winners:

The first one in this category is folding TV bed. Yep. A 22" plasma TV folds in and out from under the bed. You don't believe me..watch the video.



And the next one in the same category is, Ladies and Gentlemen, a floating bed. I kid you not. It is A FLOATING BED. It's magnetically suspended above ground. Costs some millions but it does look cool. Though I am not sure where will I put my alarm clock on this one, given I finally buy one. May be they have a floating alarm clock to match it. May be I will buy the alarm clock now and some day I will buy the bed to match the alarm clock. Oh well, one can dream at least!

Right. I need to get back to that alarm clock now.

It's Saturday Night...

...and I am home alone. Supposed to be catching up on my reading but instead I am watching the DVDs of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer while eating junkies and drinking coke. And I am bored. So bored that I actually read all the propositions going for ballot on November 4th in California (there are 12 of them). And read all the arguments pro and against them. People/groups supporting/opposing them. God. I need to stop this insanity.