Bullying

IHM again managed to touch a nerve with this post. The post is about this image she received via forward email:

“Enough is Enough ! I’ve had enough of this! Now, just shut your damn mouth!”

Statutory warning : DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS AT HOME.

A sexist joke. And as usual, it shows how a privileged section of society (namely men) makes jokes like these and think its funny. If someone from the unprivileged section object to it (namely women), they tell us that we shouldn't take "jokes" too seriously? Not read too much into it. It doesn't matter to them as the joke is not at them. Its on us. And for some reason, its always the unprivileged that are butt of such jokes.

For example, this picture. Let's reverse this and say its a female sparrow shutting the male sparrow. Do you think the joke would be on the husband or the bossy wife? Honestly, when have you seen a joke like this that has a man’s stereotype as its punch line?

Its very easy to laugh at things like these when you are in a privileged roles and undermine the unprivileged even further. Make jokes on them because, I guess, they deserve it perhaps? And if they object, silence them by saying that its just a joke. They need to relax and take it in good spirit. Well then why don't they make jokes about themselves and relax and take it in good spirit? Really? Instead of joking about women for whatever stereotype they were taught, let's joke about men stereotypes? MCPs? Has anyone heard a joke regarding that? Yeah right, they are not funny.

I work in male dominated field. I studied in male dominated field (only girl in my class). I have heard all this so often that it makes me cringe. I have heard it all: “how these jokes prepare me for real world” to “how I shouldn't take life so seriously”. The bottom line being, they all laughed at me from their privileged position and I wasn't even allowed to defend myself.  All because its just a joke! They were laughing at me, and I was supposed to relax and take it easy? This behavior is what they call BULLYING.

Every time someone tells you a sexist joke and tell you to take it in the spirit of joke, that's what they are doing: Bullying you. Telling you that you that you can't defend yourself and have to endure their nonsensical comments about how women are or supposed to be, is bullying. Whether or not they realize it (and trust me, most of them do realize and relish this. They love watching us squirm and react, and telling us off for being too sensitive. Very innocently, I might add), they are bullying us.

Jokes are best form of bullying, I guess. You can easily silence the victim and not get blamed. It doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt the victims. It does. Each and every time. We just don’t what to do about it. How to react to a nasty sense of humor? Any ideas?

P.S.: 1. No, I am not saying all men are bullies. Just some of them.

2. Thanks all for your concern. My hand is getting better but hasn’t healed completely.

Carpanal Tunnel Syndrome

Yep it got to me. No, I am not working too hard. I am just using a lot of computer, especially mouse. Both at work and home. But now you know why I haven’t been posting. Yes, I am taking care of my hand and hoping to return to posting regularly soon.

Don’t prank the Nerds

Remember Google’s April fool’s day joke? Well here is how the researchers at USC responded to it:

P.S.: I know I am behind in responding back to comments. Life have been a bit crazy lately. I will get to them really soon. Promise…

Weekend Fun: Brazos Bend State Park

Remember last weekend when I went to Brazos Bend Park and it turned out to be a disaster. Well, I tried it out again this weekend and it turns out to be tiring and scary but a great weekend. Why tiring and scary you ask? Well it’s a huge park (remember everything is big in Texas) which explains the tiring part and the park is home to alligators as well as poisonous snakes which explains to the scary part. Thankfully I didn’t see many poisonous snakes but did see few alligators. Here are few pics:

Did you notice how the reflection of trees are unbroken by the movement of alligator? Perfect predators.

Can you imagine how hard it would be to distinguish between the log and the alligator? Every log of wood I saw in water, I thought it was an alligator. Jumpy? Yes. But better safe than sorry.

Let’s move on to the “wonderful” part of the weekend, shall we?

I loved the crown of these flowers. They are small wildflowers growing in and around the park. They were pretty difficult to capture with the lenses I have but I didn’t give up.

 

I think this one is my favorite from all the photos I shot this weekend. It almost looks like a magical land, doesn’t it? The white bird is the Great Egret. She is extremely camera shy. Its peeping from behind its sanctuary here.

This is White Ibis. I think it his face resembles a red face monkey. What do you think?

And lastly, the lazy turtle snoozing on the rock on a lazy spring afternoon. He made me feel extra tired.

That’s all for today, folks.

P.S.: BTW, Congratulations on India’s victory.

Gmail Motion

I forgot today is April Fool's day. I think you know where I am going with this. I got pranked. By Google. My mistake: I didn't read the description of this supposedly new "beta" version. If I had, I wouldn't have fallen for it. It says:

The mouse and keyboard were invented before the Internet even existed. Since then, countless technological advancements have allowed for much more efficient human computer interaction. Why then do we continue to use outdated technology? Introducing Gmail Motion -- now you can control Gmail with your body.

Really? I mean its far-fetched even for Google. And me being the busy body I have been lately, instead of reading through the description clicked this button: 

(Click to Enlarge)

And no, I didn't even read the pointers below the button. I think I deserve to be pranked. And I did:

(Click to enlarge)

How did your April Fools day go? Anyone else got pranked? Or is it just me?

Weekend Fun: A Nightmaric Day

That was yesterday, Saturday. I utilized the entire Sunday to recover from that. What happened, you ask? Here is what happened:

I woke up Saturday morning with slight tinge of pain in my lower back. My cardio class on Friday had few side effects. But I had already made an appointment in the bank where I need to get few things done. So I had a bit of running around to do. Unfortunately, the branch of the bank I was supposed to go is about 30-35 min drive from my place, without traffic. And since this was a nightmaric day, I started late from my house and ran into traffic. I was 20 min late for my appointment (Being late for things is my most common nightmare). And that wasn’t the worst part of it. I had conveniently forgotten the documents I was supposed to have with me on my dinning table. Obviously, the appointment was over in 5 min. Can’t do anything without the information and the form, can we? And since bank would have closed by the time I would have returned with everything from home, there was no point of rushing home.

I should have simply turned back and went home at that point, anyway. However, I had plans of going to Brazos Bend State Park. I have been meaning to go there for past 4-5 months now. Since I was going to the bank which was half way to the park, so I decided to go to the park after the bank. I had the address in my GPS and everything. I had my camera and I had charged the battery. So in about 30-40 minutes more I was there, paying my entrance fee. I drove inside and parked my car near the Elm lake. Took out my camera and clicked. There was an error message on my LCD display: “No memory card.”

Last week I took out my card to test another camera (remember last week’s weekend fun?) and never put it back. So there I was, in a beautiful beautiful place, with perfect weather condition (cloudy) and no memory card. I sat there marveling my luck and getting over the shock. How can so many of my nightmares can come true on a single day? That’s when I felt it: a sharp burning bite in my left side. Initially I thought I was just imagining, but the feeling persisted and kept moving around. I found the nearest bathroom  and found a fire ant inside my jeans. And my left leg: red and swollen.

That’s when I decided to go home and sleep in my bed and not get out till this phase passes. That’s what I have been doing entire Sunday.

How about you? How was your weekend? I bet it was better than mine.

On Marriage and Such

I have been following the recent thread in blogosphere that originated at Women’s web and was taken up by quite a few bloggers including IHM, Hiphop Grandmom and others. I haven’t had time to write anything on the topic so far. But I am not postponing it any longer. So on risk of being late to office tomorrow morning, here are my two cents.

“Marriage”, as defined by Oxford dictionary, “is the formal union of a man and a woman, typically as recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife”. Why am I defining marriage for you, you ask? Because I want to emphasis on two phrases in this definition: formal union ( = social approval) and recognized by law ( = legal rights).

You see, marriage is, first and foremost, a legal, for lack of a better word, “contract”. Its second advantage is the associated social approval. Apart from that, marriage has no meaning. Okay before you jump your guns and start shooting, hear me out.

Marriage, by definition, doesn’t ensure happiness, or a committed, monogamous or meaningful relationship. True, a lot of people in a happy, committed, meaningful relationship do decide to get married. However, if they are already in a happy, committed and meaningful relationship, marriage, as such, doesn’t matter. Married or not, they will be happy with each other. If they are not in such a relationship, marriage will not give them any of the above mentioned things in that relationship. The purpose of marriage is, simply, to give couples a social approval and, of course, legal rights. Marriage does not, and can not, ensure a happy relationship.

Now going back to the original question: Are marriages sold to Indian women in glossy cover? Is marriage an over-rated institution?

I think any society that promotes marriage as a way to be in a happy relationship, is trying to pull a big one on its gullible members. In our society, its usually the women who get the short end of the stick in this scam. The Indian women are lead to believe that they can’t be really happy unless they are married or have had kids. Rather, the people around them won’t let them be happy unless they have achieved these goals. It seems, Indian women can only be happy when the society around them tells them they are happy. If they dare to be happy and content otherwise, they are tagged as being selfish. Women, by Indian society’s standard, can not and should not be happy and content by herself. So for Indian women it’s not the question of marriage being sold in glossy cover but a question of choosing between two evils: being married and be unhappy with society’s approval or be single and happy but as a society’s vamp. (Disclaimer: Not all marriages are unhappy). Guess what most women choose? (I can’t be included in this statistics as I chose to leave the country instead of choosing between these two options).

As far as the question of “marriage being an over-rated institution” is concerned: In my opinion, the legal rights associated with the marriage are very important. Ask LGBTs in a committed relationship and you will hear about horrors about what not having such a right can mean. They are not allowed to be next to their partner on their death bed. They are not allowed to attend their partners funeral. They are thrown out of the house after their partner’s death: the house that they build together and lived together in for decades.

So yes, marriage is important but we need to treat marriage as marriage: a legal contract. The moment we start using marriage as means for finding happiness: I think we are doomed to have more unhappy marriages in our society.

What do you think?

P.S.: I define a marriage unhappy or unsuccessful if either partner is unhappy. After all, a relationship can’t be happy or successful if one of the person involved is unhappy.

Thursday Challenge: Green

So this week’s Thursday challenge is “Green”. the moment I heard the topic, the images that popped up in my mind were from Golden Gate Park Japanese Tea Garden. I think that is the most greenest place I have ever been to. Honestly. Its just too green. Here are some images to prove my point. (BTW, these are never-before-seen images from my folder that has been eating dust for past two years. Hope you like them):

Okay, almost never-before-seen. I think I have published this one couple of times before.

Fascinating Aida

I think I have become a fan in an evening. This is one of few serious ones (And heart wrenching. Seriously) that I have found so far. Am going deeper in the archive now. Wish me luck!

(The group is called Fascinating Aida)

Weekend Fun

After a long long long time, I went out with my camera this weekend. Actually, my first pictures in the year 2011. It was hot but it was fun. Its always nice to sit next to a pond/lake and watch the birds.

Trolls

I am not sure if you have heard about TamTamPamela yet? In nutshell, she is a self-proclaimed “troll”. What it means is that she intentionally made some videos like the one below as a “sarcastic” (I never thought I will put that word in sarcastic quotes) comment on the religious fanatics.

This last video of hers caused a lot of back lash including threats of death and rape. Her phone number and address were disclosed at some forums which made these threats very real. She deleted her account and went into hiding. She confessed her intentions in this video (people have refused to believe her):

Okay, I don’t get the idea of making troll videos to enrage people. But that doesn’t infuriate me. What do infuriate me is the threats of rape made against her. See, that’s a very specific kind of threat. A threat that can only be made against a woman by a man. The threat that’s used to establish supremacy of man over woman. Even if she was a religious fanatic and the person making the threat was an atheist (she is an atheist troll: she makes video focused on atheism), I don’t get how the idea of rape is relevant here, except for the fact that she is a woman. Had a guy done this, would they have made the same threat? Why is that the moment a woman does anything to annoy a bunch of people, one of the first threat that comes out is of rape? Is it considered a tool of “disciplining” women by such commentators? Why else would they insinuate such a thing? And if that’s what they mean, do they really have a right to be infuriated by a religious fanatic’s video? If you ask me, they themselves are living in dark ages.

Speaking of which, her second video has a comment stating:

“Women are too stupid to be successful trolls. Get the f**k off the computer and do the dishes or something.”

Again, what is the relevance of her being a female? Had this been a guy, would this have been successful? And honestly what do they mean by “successful troll”? If it means infuriating a lot of people intentionally: I think she is one of the most successful troll I have known.

P.S.: 1. I don’t approve of such satire humor, especially in the face of tragic events as massive as Japan’s recent tragedies, but I will take it over real religious fanatics claiming the same anytime.

2. Poe’s law is being discussed extensively in this case. Poe’s law states that: it's difficult to distinguish between parodies of religious fundamentalism and genuine proponents of religious fundamentalism, since they both seem equally insane.

OMG, I have gone native!

I have started doing this all the time:

(Image linked to its source)

They tell me about a party, a get-together etc., my first question usually is  “How long (not how far) is that place?”

P.S.: I know its wrong grammatically but hey, everyone else around here understand me perfectly. And that’s the purpose of any language, isn’t it?

Defensive Driving

So I spent 6 hours yesterday attending a class on Defensive Driving. It consisted of about 5 hour video of accidents, deaths, injuries; cars toppling, screeching; parents sharing their pain, crying their eyes out.

What did I learn, you ask?

I walked to work today. I am not sure if I will be able to get behind the wheel anytime soon.

And I am not having kids. Ever. Never Ever. Never.

I think my friend is right in suggesting that I am one of those nutcases who take life way too seriously and should never be in a class like defensive driving.

Thursday Challenge: MANY

The Thursday challenge of this week is “Many” as in candies, crowd, paperclips, coins, collections: you get the drift.

So here is my entry for this week’s challenge:

 

This was taken in San Francisco China Town on the occasion of Chinese flower fair/New year celebration in January 2008. It was an amazing experience. I like to call this picture “The river of people”.

Thursday Challenge: Movement

Thursday Challenge. “MOVEMENT” (Shaking, Falling, Bouncing, Jumping, Curling, Sagging,…)

Okay, two weeks in a row. And again, I have problem selecting just one or even two shots, but this time I stayed focus on one subject: Arctic Tern. The first few pictures are tern hunting for food. Just FYI, these are taken at different times though on the same day. I just made a series out of them:

A close-up of one of them:

Another view of the hunting:

Lastly, this is the series of shots of two terns fighting for the same spot and finally the winner landing on the spot:

That’s it for the movement series. Hope you like them..

Conservative and Liberal

The other day I met some one, who by his own admission is a conservative. For some reason I always imagine the conservatives to be either old (usually white: yes that’s me being racist), or a religious fanatic. So a young guy, who doesn’t seem like a religious fanatic, claiming to be a conservative came as a shock to me. And this got me to thinking. Is being a conservative really that bad?

What is being a conservative mean? No I am not talking about the issues and conservative versus liberal stand on them, but the dictionary meaning. The Oxford Dictionary says, it means:

“…holding to traditional attitudes and values and cautious about change or innovation, typically in relation to politics or religion…”

while being a liberal means:

“…open to new behavior or opinions and willing to discard traditional values…”

The way I see it, they are two side of a coin, yin and yang, the two pillars needed to have a balanced society to develop and grow. How you ask?

Well, imagine a society which is perfectly liberal. Every new idea, new opinion is embraced and hence the society changes to adapt it every month, every week or may be every hour. What happens then? Chaos, right? Also, do you really think that every new idea, every new opinion is worth trying out? Communism was a new idea once upon a time and societies did change to adapt that idea. You know the result.

So we do need a fair share of conservatives to keep the society grounded to challenge the new ideas and how practical they are.

Now, imagine a society that’s completely conservative. No new idea will ever be entertained. The wheel inventor would be prosecuted (sounds familiar?). We would still be living in caves or may be even in jungles.

So bottom line is that we need conservative as well as liberal ideas in the society to make it function properly.

All this is good and great, however, my initial question was: Is being a conservative really that bad? Let me add to it: Is being a liberal bad?

Well, I think so (at least now). In my opinion a person, like a society, should be well balanced. A person who is either too liberal or too conservative, is in danger of being either a hippie (as in full blown dum-maro-dum style) or a religious fanatic, respectively. I am not sure I prefer either of them.

What do you think? Do you agree? Disagree?

Saturday Shot: Family

Title: Brothers

Location: CA

Date: 2010

Tag: Years past

I stole this tag from Sunshine. And like any tag, its going to reveal more personal stuff about my life. Let’s see how much I will be able to put out here.

30 years ago (1981)

1. The first train ride that I remember. My reaction was: Everything is running backwards, including the Earth and the tree. And I think I said something along the lines: “Mummy Dharti ghoom rahi hain.” in a very excited tone.

2. My first memory of my cousins, one of them was about a month old, the other was two years old. My aunt asked me for a name for the baby. I named her Sony, the name of my first best friend in school.

3. I remember roses, a lot of them and a variety of them, in our garden. My mom is an avid gardener but except for that time of my early childhood, I have rarely seen her planting any flower-plants.

4. I remember seeing a dead snake that my dad killed. I am not sure how to describe that feeling. I was scared, excited, thrilled and somewhat sad.

20 years ago (1991)

1. I moved from class VIII to class IX. A big change, at least for that age. All of sudden everyone around me was talking about boards and career choices. One thing I remember hearing more often that year was how next few years are going to decide the rest of my life.

2. I didn’t like my class IX class-teacher. Her first question to me was: what’s your last name? I answered, “Nothing.”. She remarked, “So you are Richa Nothing.” The entire class laughed. She insisted on calling me ‘Richa Nothing’ for the entire year, which meant the entire class called me the same. Some of them still do. I absolutely hated it.

3. We went to Delhi on a class tour. I saw Red Fort, Qutub Minar, India Gate, and Appu Ghar for the first time. It was a great trip.

10 years ago (2001)

1. I graduated from my Master. I had a job in Infosys before graduation but then 2001 recession hit. I was put on the bench for indefinite time. It was a hard time. All my classmates were joining their jobs, starting new life and I was stuck at the home.

2. I approached almost all the companies visiting the campus that year to talk them about job. I was told right on the face that they are not interested in hiring a woman. Forget the qualifications, knowledge or ability.

3. I cleared my NET and was offered scholarship (JRF) to pursue PhD in my home university. So by end of 2001, I was all ready to pursue my PhD. However, later (2002 beginning) I got a job offer from one of the company (only one who accepted to interview me) and decided to take that.

4. Spent a night in the hospital attending a friend who had an epileptic attack and was unconscious for the most part. It was a scary experience.

5 years ago (2006)

1. I had already left my first job and joined PhD in Stanford. I cleared my Quals in this year. I did my first internship that summer.  

2. Got out of a relationship. Got my heart broken. Badly. Got into depression. Lost 20 lbs in 2 weeks. Almost quit my PhD.

3. I went to New Orleans that year. This was year after Katrina hit. We went through the worst affected areas of New Orleans. On the doors of the houses, a number was written in red ink/chalk. When asked, I was told that’s the number of dead bodies they found inside the house. I still have those images etched in my mind.

4. Bought my first ever car and started to learn driving.

5. My first room-mate in US graduated and left. So I changed room-mate. The new room-mate was the biggest jerk that I have had as a room-mate.

3 years ago (2008)

1. I had already bought my first D-SLR the year before. So it was a year of photography. It was a great year.

2. I had been going to Kenpo Karate for a year at this point. This was the year when I started getting a bit better at it. I got my blue belt and I learned how not to get hung up on mistakes. It’s an accomplishment, a mental discipline I am rather proud of.

3. I started this blog in 2007, but 2008 was the year I wrote the most post in a year: 248 posts in 366 days. I haven’t been able to match that number ever since.

4. I travelled quite a bit. Euro-trip in March. Spent the summer in Southern California (second internship) which meant weekly trips to some where nice. Went to Disneyland five times that summer. Visited Las Vegas for the first time that November. Went to Grand Canyon. Finally, spent the Christmas in Scotland.

5. I got two paying photography gigs: Doing a photography board for Geophysics Department and then taking pictures at Stanford Graduate Student Council’s Thanksgiving dinner.

6. I had a very productive year research-wise. For the first time, my advisor was impressed by my work.

2 years ago (2009)

1. The great recession hit which left me without a job yet again (do you see a pattern here?). I was ready to graduate that year but there was no point graduating without a job, was there? So frantic search for job began. By the end of year, I did find one.

2. I got a severe back ache as well as a nerve pinch in my left leg, for the first time in my life. I was in physical therapy for 4 months. Nerve pinch was the worst. I couldn’t walk at all.

1 year ago (2010)

1. I wrote my thesis and defended, hence finishing my PhD. I gained weight during this time period. This is the first time I have gained so much weight since “great depression” of 2006.

2. I moved from California to Texas.

3. I started my new job.

4. I went around California with friends before joining my job. That was fun.

5. Bought new furniture, new TV and DVD player.

6. I wrote the least number of posts in a year in 2010: 135 posts in 365 days.

So far this year (2011)

1. I have been exercising fairly regularly and eating healthy. For past 2 weeks, I have been steadily loosing 2 lbs per week. At this rate, I will be at my pre-thesis weight in about 2 months.

2. I have been posting fairly regularly this year. I don’t think I will be able break the 2008 record but I can at least beat last year’s record.

3. I have made some new friends in the new place and I have been arranging lunches/coffee with them. I am getting better at this social networking (offline, online I have 333 friends on FB) thingy.

4. Bought my first new car: a 2010 Toyota Corolla. Miles: 08 mile on first day.

Yesterday

1. I was very sore because of my aerobics class the day before.

2. Worked whole day. I had a pretty productive day, in fact.

3. Watched cable after a long time. Ever since I bought my new TV which gives me direct access to Netflix, I have been watching more Netflix than cable.

4. No exercise. 

Today

1. I got a hair cut.

2. I ran a lot of errands since morning. In Houston, it means a whole lot of driving. I think I drove about  60-70 miles today, if not more.

3. I tried out my car ac for the first time. Yes, the temperature in Houston has risen again.

Tomorrow I will

1. Sleep late.

2. Eat out. I haven’t done that in a about 3 weeks now.

In the next year I will

1. Go to India. I haven’t been to India for 3.5 years now. Its long over due.

2. Travel a bit more than I have been. Take more pictures.

3. Have some saving.

 

That’s all folks. Take the tag if you like it…

Thursday Challenge: Trees

Every week I check out the Thursday challenge and think about posting something but simply never found time to go through my photographs to do so. Today, I finally made it. The topic was so tempting that I couldn't resist. The only problem is that I have so many pictures on the topic that I can't pick one, so here are selected few on the topic:

This first one, that I like to call Reflection, was taken in Yosemite park on a boxing day.I like the way melting snow giving way to the stream and of course the tilted tree looks like its eager to see its own reflection.

The next picture is from the Japanese Tea garden in San Francisco Golden Gate Park. If you even plan to go to the SFO, do plan to spend some time here. Its very peaceful place to be. I like to call this picture: Green.

The next one is a complete change in scenery. This is right at the gate of Grand Canyon National Park in Arizona. This is Joshua tree forest in the Arizona desert. Yes its a forest. Its simply spectacular view. I call this one: Survival.

How can I forget Christmas Tree among all the trees. This is the shot from San Francisco (I think its Pier 39), just before the Christmas. I like the way it has a reindeer, Christmas tree and the moon all in the same shot. Can't get more christmasy than that, can it? This one is call: Festive.

And now moving internationally. This is from the St. James park in London. I am not a big fan of London but St. James park is  my absolute favorite there. I call this picture: Reaching out.

And lastly, my beloved Stanford. This one is from a running/walking trail in Stanford Campus. Doesn't this look awfully familiar? Well do you remember the default Windows XP desktop? Doesn't this look like that one? Did you know the Windows XP desktop shot was taken in Napa Valley (near San Francisco) so its not a surprise that I found a similar landscape while shooting in Stanford, is it? I call this: Breathtaking.

That’s all for today. Hope you like them..

I can rhyme

Impedance is Red
Reflectivity is blue
If you want to find oil
Use seismic as a clue.

Okay I am a geek but a rhyming geek! I will happily take that.