Ok, before I start, I must confess that I have always been skeptical when it comes to the concept of Love. And let me be clear, by Love I mean the romantic inclinations and not the affections of parents, family and friends. As you must have guessed it, I have had quiet a few heated discussions with my friends about this topic. Anyways, thats not the topic of this post though the idea was conceived during one of those discussions with one of my friend.
The discussion made me recapitulate few confessions/reasons that my friends have given me over the years to be in a particular relationship. It was surprising to realize that that reason wasn't what it should be: Love. The various reasons I have come across are (in no particular order, first come first serve from my memory)...
1. Habit: I have been forever with him/her. He/she has become part of my daily habit. I am sure I love him/her. (I have one word for these people: Variety).
2. Obligation: He/she waited to be with me for so long, I don't have heart to say no now. He/she isn't bad either. I think I like him/her. (So keep asking a person out..he/she will finally cave in).
3. Need: I don't know how to cook/to take care of myself and she/he can. Its a perfect match. (Yeah for you, what about the other person?).
4. Greed: She is successful and earn well. We will have ample money to spend (Believe me, I have heard this one more than once).
5. Trophy Spouse: He/she is so good looking/popular. It makes me look cool. (Well they exactly didn't say the last sentence but thats what they meant..)
6. Reflection: Because he/she loves me so much. He/she is so obsessed with me. (Actually this is a modification of trophy spouse..these people actually like to show off how much their spouse loves them. I guess this is the closest I came to Love, at least one of them was in love).
7. Whatever: (This is my favorite). Because he/she asked me out and I wasn't going out with anyone at that time so we started going out. (Give me a break).
8. Convenience: We work together and this way I don't have to quit my job and settle down somewhere else. (I think they are in love with their job instead of that person).
9. Revolt: Because my parents have been pressurizing for the marriage and I didn't want to go for arranged marriage. (well isn't this a new type of arranged marriage when we arrange it instead of our parents? Isn't this just a revolt against parents/tradition?).
10. Help: This one is very popular among Indian students. He/she has good network and can get previous course notes/assignments. That way I can get good grades.(Very professional, I say).
11. Lonely: Last but not least, is being alone. I have to have someone in my life, no matter who. I can't cope with loneliness. (Well, so far this is one reason I can somewhat live with).
May be being in love is fashionable and thats why these people are in those relationships (so that they have a boyfriend/girlfriend to make their fashion statement). Or may be I don't know the definition of love. Will someone care to explain it to me?
Spot on....there is no such thing as perfect love...These are the perfect reasoning. Eventually, everyone does fall into one of these category...Its an Individuals choice on how to live successful life with minimal discomfort...since We all live in real world, I would certainly pick (Greed/successful). Two sucessful people can certainly make good living.
ReplyDeletePS. you can enjoy eachothers company(so called in love)...u still need food to eat and place to live and money to spend...in todays world financial security is a must...
I am not sure I can conclude about Love yet but I certainly don't agree that enjoying each other's company means being in love. Friend's enjoy each other's company and are not necessarily in love with each other.
ReplyDeleteNecessities for life is always there and I guess most of us have matured to understand that financial security is a must but making it primary goal of life, is something I wouldn't agree with. But then its just me..
difference of opinion aint it? its good to see...we are not robots....
ReplyDeleteAgreed..
ReplyDeleteLOve marriages ultimately...marriages of convenience.....this is from someone who is known as a "robot"
ReplyDelete@Anonymous/BFF: Hey no one ever called me a 'Robot', not to my face at least. I have been told to be less emotional than others though but not a Robot. But yeah agreed, Love marriages ultimately are marriages of convenience according to these people I have talked to. Never found the actual reason for the marriage to be love!
ReplyDeleteBut I know like your God argument (HE IS THERE, Fullstop) your argument for Love also goes without any further possibility of refute (LOVE EXISTS, Fullstop).
@Anonymous/BFF: Hey no one ever called me a 'Robot', not to my face at least. I have been told to be less emotional than others though but not a Robot. But yeah agreed, Love marriages ultimately are marriages of convenience according to these people I have talked to. Never found the actual reason for the marriage to be love!
ReplyDeleteBut I know like your God argument (HE IS THERE, Fullstop) your argument for Love also goes without any further possibility of refute (LOVE EXISTS, Fullstop).