Geeks and Lions

Tip #83A (from the book called "Tips for stalling your blog-readers"): If you don't have anything to write about and you still feel obligated to write something, look through your forwarded mails/spam mails and generate a material to write.

Tip #83B: If forwarded mails/spam mails scam, I mean trick, doesn't work, try some match making sites and make fun of few idiotic proposals.

(P.S.: For previous references of the aforementioned book please click here.)

Here is something from my forwarded mails. I knew saving all that crap as a word file will pay off some day. So today we are actually trying to catch a lion. See how our dearest, cutest grad students will go about it but first few legal stuff.

WARNINGS:
1. Please don't try any of these at home. They are only theoretical conjectures. Trying them in the field can be dangerous.
2. Geek Alert: This manual is specifically meant for Engineering and Science graduates. Any other person trying to comprehend this document will be responsible for the consequences (For details about the consequences, please refer to the manual).

Copyright disclaimer: If the person who authored this document, happen to visit this site and think about suing me, then sorry dude you gave up that right when you forwarded it. Now sit back and just enjoy the ride...I mean popularity of your manual. BTW, great work.

So here it goes:

Manual for catching Lion

Six ways to catch a lion

1. Newton's Method: Let, the lion catch you. For every action there is equal and opposite reaction. Implies you caught lion.

2. Einstein Method: Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily.

3. Schrodinger Method: At any given moment, there is a positive probability that lion to be in the cage. So set the trap, sit down and wait.

4. Inverse Transformation Method: We place a spherical cage in the forest and enter it. Perform an inverse transformation with respect to lion. Lion is in and we are out.

5. Thermodynamic Procedure: We construct a semi-permeable membrane which allows every thing to pass through it except lions. Then sweep the entire forest with it.

6. Integration Differentiation Method: Integrate the forest over the entire area. The lion is some where in the result. So differentiate the result PARTIALLY w.r.t lion to trace out the lion.

This manual is STRICTLY for circulation among ENGINEERS and SCIENTISTS only.......anyone found violating the rule will be the lunch for the lion that is caught.