Ever since I read this post by Braja Sorensen on Lost and found in India, I have this constant debate going on in my mind and I simply can’t concentrate on work anymore. The topic of discussion in the post was opposition of Burkas in European countries. Braja opined:
…foreigners who enter a new country, a new culture, and yet refuse to adapt to it, preferring to maintain---or even impose---their own culture in that foreign land. Whatever happened to "When in Rome..."? As an expat Aussie living in India, I have a bit of a sore point about people entering a country and refusing to honor its traditions, cultures, desires, directions, or the like. Worse, I find it completely obnoxious, to be honest, when foreigners deem the inhabitants of their new country lower than them, less cultured, less spiritual, less holy---less everything, really---yet still want to live there. Obviously not as one of them, but *despite* them. It seems a rather rude premise to me.
Honestly, I do agree with the author here to certain extent but, there are a lot of “buts” involved. Yes, when in Rome, behave as Roman but does that mean completely neglecting your roots? If not, then where do you the draw the line between embracing the new culture and not loosing touch with your roots. Any one care to venture an answer?
I do agree with her...I don't think one needs to lose all of one's roots and values but dissing the country in which one has decided to live in, is a bit arrogant. Having said that, I am still on the fence re the banning of the burqa. I think they shouldn't allow covering your face completely for security reasons, but a hijab should be fine if a woman wants to wear it.
ReplyDeleteI tend to stick to the policy of everyone living their own life. I think it's only polite to make whatever REASONABLE accomodations you can to make the lives of those around you as easy and comfortable as possible. Just as I think it's basic good manners not to impose on the lives of those around you in as much as you can
ReplyDeleteI think the conniption fits we're having about how people are dressed, religions people follow etc etc are rather hysterical and xenophobic. I boggle at why they even care - so long as their actions stay firmly in the "I will X" column rather than the "YOU should Y" column.
SO long as people are charting their own course, obeying the necessary laws (and note noecessary there - bringing in laws to force abandonning culture when there is no apparent reason are so not necessary) and NOT trying to impose on others (including, I might add, their nearest and dearest - because raising children without choices bugs me) then I don't see why we need to intervene.
I think burkhas & hijabs should be banned everywhere - in the West, in the East & in between.
ReplyDeleteThey're oppressive & regressive. Women who wear them by 'choice' - really how much of a choice do they have when they've been brought up being told that this is what 'good' women do.
"If not, then where do you the draw the line between embracing the new culture and not loosing touch with your roots"
ReplyDeleteThat's an interesting question.
Agreed but how about loosing your roots in the process? Shouldn't that be important as well?
ReplyDeleteBurqa issue, I agree that no one has a right to guide what one wears or not wears one way or the other. No one else has a right to decide that..
I agree with that attitude Sparky. But when you, for whatever reason, are living in a culture different from the culture you grew up with, there is often conflict and the person has to decide to what extent should he or she accept this new culture. Its a tough choice and yet we all have to draw a line somewhere..
ReplyDeleteOh well, there is that but then there is still a matter of personal choice. For example, I love wearing salwar suit and the best part of it is having a chunni. Now, chunni and burqa are included in woman's clothing for similar reasons though the severity varies. So if someday, some country ask me not to wear a chunni, do you think it will be alright? People can again argue the same thing that I am conditioned into wearing them as that is what 'good' women do. Is that fair then?
ReplyDeleteAnd yet no one answers the question..
ReplyDeleteI think you've raised an interesting question there - where does one draw the line? Forget about embracing the new culture, this question comes up even when adjusting to it. What do I wear? What do I eat? But in my opinion, imposing one's culture on others is outright wrong - and we Indians seem to be doing it quite often.
ReplyDeleteOn a tangent to this, I feel that it is really easy to make your stay pleasant when in a foreign land (and by foreign - I don't only mean a different country; but also different state within the same country, especially in a nation as diverse as our own). There are only 2 rules to be followed:
1) Respect the local culture (mind you - you don't need to adopt the local culture - just respect it)
2) Never do anything that makes the locals feel threatened.
I have elaborated in a recent post "Outsider, Insider".
Kiran, I agree that in country as diverse as our, this question comes up more often than not (I actually used the same argument on my FB when I posted the same article there).
ReplyDeleteHowever, there is a lot of difference in visiting a place and living there for years. To start with the locals do expect (and it's a fair expectation), for you to adopt their culture as you have become part of that place. Like I lived in Chennai for 2.5 years and didn't learn Tamil, which a lot of local find offensive. They felt it was because, for some reason, we North Indians are arrogant and don't want to learn any other language. We expect the locals to learn our language instead, and get irritated if they don't. How is that fair? And I agree, that I should have learned the language (problem is I am pretty bad at learning languages), but you see that means I have to adopt at the new place.
Not that I am complaining, just making the point that respect isn't always enough. Longer you live in a culture, more you need to adopt the culture. It's simply unavoidable. And things get even more complicated when you make good friends among them (the locals) and worse, you don't have any Indian friend (and trust me it's not intentional. I simply don't get along most Indians I have met here). All of sudden, you are in a place that you are the only one of your culture and you simply have no idea where are that damn line (the one between adopting new culture and staying with your roots).
Richa, Yes - I agree with the "visiting a place versus living there for years" point. I have always believed in the "When in Rome" philosophy and tried to apply it wherever I stay for extended periods of time. And believe me, it works wonders.
ReplyDeleteI do also see your point when you say that respect is not enough. But what I meant was that respect is the *bare minimum*. And you would be surprised to know how many people don't even follow this rule. I am a Bangalorean; and I have always believed in welcoming outsiders. I always support the outsiders in these debates and take strong exeption to generalizations that "Northis are spoiling Bangalore" .
However, I know dozens of people who have been here for 5+ years and still complain that the autowalla doesn't speak Hindi. How many non-Kannadigas who have stayed 5+ years have learnt to count from 1 to 10 in Kannada? Heck - how many people know how to pronounce the name of the language properly? Similarly, I find the same people making fun of our food habits, dressing sense, and the list goes on and on.
Point is - I think our egos are at such a level that we will never genuinely adopt another person's culture. So, to avoid conflict; the least one needs to do is show respect for the local culture.
I'd also like to mention that I know several people who are trying their best to adopt to their home away from home. However, these are in a minority.
Well written Kiran. I really don't like people who think that the world should change to accommodate them and if it doesn't, then they complain.
ReplyDeleteHowever, being an outsider for almost all my life, I have tried my best to adopt to the new culture except that I am very bad at learning new languages (I am actually very bad in the languages I know, forget about learning something new).
My trouble is that I never got much help from the locals (especially in India), neither in learning the language (there aren't many good books to learn Tamil, I tried), or learning about different customs. So the minorities like us who are trying to adopt to this new home, are ridiculed from both sides. The"Northies" don't like us because we always side with the "Southies" and the "Southies" usually treat us as an outsider and would continue to talk in their language, without even bothering to stop and explain it to us. How are we suppose to cope then?
I simply hope they either start teaching the basics of south Indian languages in the schools or at least, the Northies landing in South India should get a basic language learning book when they arrive there. Just my opinion..