Well the actual question was:
“What do you think happens after we die?”
But my thought train took a wrong turn and I instead ended up thinking about funeral costs and funeral services and such nonsense. But during all this thought process I realize how unique background I come from. Most of the world, that is most of cultures around the world, bury their dead while our culture, or more precisely Hinduism, insist on burning them.
Before you jump the gun and start defending either method, I am not writing this post to discuss the philosophy or religion. I am just wondering that if given a choice, would you liked to be buried or burned after death? Would you like to have a grave site which your loved ones can visit and grieve, miss you and carry out imaginary conversations; or would you like to be burned and have your ashes thrown in a river so that they can, or rather should, move on with their lives?
The first answer that pops in my head is obviously, being cremated. But that’s simply because I don’t want my loved ones to grieve for me. Actually I don’t want my loved ones to grieve. Period. Its worse if I am the reason. But does my desire of them moving on, really help with their grief? Isn’t it equivalent of me telling them to internalize their pain and pretend to be normal and happy? Is that what I really want? But does having a place to grieve and remember help them with the grieving process? I think so.
My favorite uncle passed away an year and half ago. I didn’t attend his funeral. Hell, I was told 2 days after his funeral. I cried, I grieved, I felt awful but I didn’t find closure. He was a photographer and I bought a D-SLR camera for him as a surprise gift. I never told him that. He never knew about the camera. He would have loved it. I still have that feeling of unfinished business. I don’t have closure. I never got to say goodbye and I really wish there was a grave, a place where I could go, pay my respects and say goodbye.
What do you think? Do you want to be burned or buried? As for me, I think I would like all my loved ones to be buried so that I can go there and be with them but I should be cremated. Sounds selfish, isn’t it? May be a bit hypocritical too but I really don’t want them to cry for me.
Just a thought train…
I wondered about that myself recently...about being able to grieve and visit someone's grave versus if they are cremated. Cremation sounds so final. But having said that, there really is no one way to grieve I suppose. I think personally, I would like to be cremated. Don't know why apart from the fact that I'd rather not have my bones with the dirt and insects :P
ReplyDeleteI would like to be burned... I would not want my memories to be tied to my body, or my physical material after im dead. The thought of donating my dead body to some hospital for research n all also sounds appealing to me..
ReplyDelete@ PB: hehehe..you have a point. Insect and dirt could definitely be a problem..
ReplyDelete@ Neha: hmmm...that's a good idea. I am definitely donating my organs but not my body. I think my family need some kind of closure and for that they would require a funeral service of some kind. At least I think so...
and a beautifully valid train of thought it is...and I think we have all taken a trip on that train, irrespective of our religious backgrounds.
ReplyDelete@ PB: hehehe..you have a point. Insect and dirt could definitely be a problem..
ReplyDelete@ Neha: hmmm...that's a good idea. I am definitely donating my organs but not my body. I think my family need some kind of closure and for that they would require a funeral service of some kind. At least I think so...