One liners

Enjoy…

• My computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
• Slept like a baby last night…. Waking up every 3 hours crying for food.
• One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
• Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
• Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.
• I want to merge MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT.
• Don’t you find it funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
• I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.
• If your relationship status says, "It's complicated", then you should stop kidding yourself and change it to "Single".
• Be nice to nerds, chances are you will be working for them.
• Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?
• Hi, my name is Damimeve. The 'mime' is silent.
• Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
• I hear there is scientific proof that birthdays are good for you... the more you have the longer you live.
• I just read a list of 'the 100 things to do before you die'. I'm pretty surprised 'yell for help' wasn't one of them...
• TEIAM - problem solved.
• Top Tip Of The Week: When going through airport customs and you are asked "do you have any firearms with you?" do not reply "what do you need?"

Source: Link1, Link 2.