Just imagine

Ryanair’s chief executive Michael O’Leary is an interesting character. I just read a New York Times article on the guy and came across his plans to charge the passenger for using the airplane bathroom. Now that opens so many possibilities for my wicked, over-active imagination.

For those who are not familiar with Ryanair, it’s a budget airline that primarily operates in Europe. And when they say budget, they mean it. It costs $60-$70 to fly between most of it’s destinations. Obviously there are hassles attached to flying Ryanair as strict baggage specifications. Paying for food/drinks. etc. etc. The New York Times did a good job of describing a budget airline:

Miss your flight because you had to wait too long at a Ryanair help desk? Too bad! Your luggage is slightly overweight? Throw away the excess, or wear it on the flight! Try to tote your duty-free purchases onto the plane in a shopping bag, when you already have a carry-on bag? Prepare to fork over $40 at the gate.

And as Michael O’Leary puts it aptly:

“Our customer service is unlike every other airline, which has this image of, ‘We want to fall down at your feet and you can walk all over us and the customer is always right,’ and all that nonsense.”

So you get an idea about the budget airlines and specifically, Ryanair. Anyway, so the latest in the series of things they charge, are the Bathroom visits which opens a whole new world of possibilities where things can go wrong.

Now just imagine, for some unknown/stupid reason, you got a full bladder while on the flight and you don’t have any money on you. It’s cold in the cabin and you are crammed in your seat (the budget airline seat). And as it so often happens in the flight, the airplane passes through atmospheric turbulence and starts shaking...

Well you get the picture. This story opened door to so many possibilities. Someone else also had one such scenario for Michael O’Leary:

What if the plane were stricken by some nasty, effluent illness, like food poisoning?

A snorting noise wafted over from the chair where Mr. O’Leary was sitting. “We don’t serve enough food for everybody to get food poisoning,” he said.

P.S.: 1. The news about charging the bathroom visits is an old one but since I live in the United States of America, I don’t subscribe to the news from the rest of the world. I came to know about this today as the New York Times decided to do the Saturday Profile on Mr. O’Leary.

2. To quote Mr. O’Leary once more, this time on the topic of America:

“People will say” — here Mr. O’Leary adopted a whiny voice — “ ‘As the Founding Fathers wrote down in the American Constitution, we have the inalienable right to bear arms and send in our complaints by e-mail.’

“No, you bloody don’t! So go away.”

3. I think I admire his bluntness and his eccentricity. He is hilarious.