Telecommunications

Here is the transcript (not exactly word-by-word but close) of my recent communications with a speech recognition software (they usually have problem understanding me.)

"Welcome to XXXX. Let's get started. I need to ask you a few questions in order to get you to the right person. When you hear the reason that most closely matches to why you are calling you can speak that phrase any time.
To purchase an XXXX product say PURCHASE. If you need shipping status on existing order say ORDER, or if you need help with an existing product say TECHNICAL SUPPORT."

Technical Support.

"I am sorry I didn't get that. What would you like to do today?"

Tech-ni-cal Supp-ort. (that's me enunciating.)

"I am sorry I didn't get that. What would you like to do today?"

Tech-ni-cal Supp-ort. (that's me trying to be loud and clear.)

"I am sorry I didn't get that. Let's get started again. I need to ask you a few questions in order to get you to the right person. When you hear the reason that most closely matches to why you are calling you can speak that phrase any time.
To purchase an XXXX product say PURCHASE. If you need shipping status on existing order say ORDER, or if you need help with an existing product say TECHNICAL SUPPORT."

Technical Support. Technical Support. Technical Support. (at this point I am just trying any and all method to be understood by her.)

"I am sorry I didn't get that. What would you like to do today?"

Hmmm....let me think. I would like to go out and enjoy the beautiful day that we are having and take some nice pictures but guess what, I am stuck with you who refuses to understand me and make me feel like cave woman trying to communicate with a 21st century woman. Can you please connect to me a real person or give me the option of punching some numbers instead of having me scream repeatedly on phone. (At this point, I have gone very silent but this is the synopsis of what's going on in my mind.)

"I am sorry I didn't get that. What would you like to do today?"

I accept my defeat o almighty speech recognition software. Please let me go. What do you want from me? Please please, connect me to a real person. I promise I won't ever try to speak to you ever again.

"I am sorry I didn't get that. I will connect you to an agent. Please wait." (Notice the use of first 'please' by her in the entire conversation..)

Merci. Gracias. Thank you. Dhanyavad. Shukriya. Aabhar. Meharbaani. ...(that's me thanking in all the languages I know to say 'thank you' in).


And then someone asked me today , 'Why are you in such a foul mood?'