February 27, 2012

Lesson learned?

So I had been looking for a shared accommodation near my office in this nice, big city,  you know to reduce my commute. I contacted a few people: backed out from a few, and few backed out from me. Well I always made clear that I like to cook and since I am an Indian, I would cook Indian food. Of course, not everyone can tolerate the strong smell of Indian food. But its better to have such issues sorted out before moving in, right? Finally I found a nice Polish lady who lives 10 min bus ride from my office. She didn't have any problem with all the issues I raised with her. So I decided to put the deposit and pay the first month rent and move in.

I packed my stuff from my friend's place and moved in. The evening I moved in, we talked about cleaning schedules and other stuff. I was tired so wanted to sleep early. That's when she dropped the bomb: "Oh, by the bye, my husband visit me few times a week. Thought I should mention this so that there are no surprises."

Wait, what?

"Oh. Where does your husband work?"
"Oh, he works in London and comes down here few times a week. Her sister also visit some times. He is a Pakistani guy."
"But but but...why didn't you mention this earlier?"
"But what difference does that make? Its no different than having boyfriend."

Because, I agreed to share the room with you and had no idea I have to share it with someone else. Someone whom I have never met and don't know if I will be comfortable with him. Because he is your Husband which automatically implies that he lives here unlike a boyfriend. I will be equally uncomfortable with live-in boyfriend without my prior knowledge. I agreed to share that place with one person. And because I let you know all the issues I thought my potential room-mate can have problem with including the fact that I cook Indian food.

Well I didn't say as much. I am a non-confrontational person. Its hard for me to be in an argument.

Anyway, getting to the point of post. Almost everyone I have told this incident to inadvertently comes back with the response similar to "Well, you learned a lesson there."

I don't understand that response. Honestly, I don't know what lesson they are referring to here. I talked to that lady in details before moving. My friends (from London) met her and didn't suspect anything fishy about the whole affair. Its not like I was being extra naive or stupid or something like that. It was not MY mistake that I can learn from. Only thing I can learn from this whole episode is that never ever trust anyone in this city. That is if you call this trust. Its not like I have shared my innermost secrets with that lady or something like that. It was a mere rental contract. True, the experience stressed me out and has left me with a bitter taste in the mouth but I simply can't comprehend what lesson I can learn from this episode.

This statement actually infuriates me more than the whole episode. May be because I actually trust these people when I share such a thing with them and then they turn back and kind of blame me for being so naive. So much for making friends in the new city...


  1. That's shit! I can't believe she didn't tell you straight up that her husband lives there! It's basically you sharing with a couple when you agreed to terms that said one person! And I disagree with everyone who told you to learn a lesson. When you get into a rental contract, you expect both parties to be honest especially I would assume in terms of relationships and people visiting and the like. I know every time I've shared or rented out my place, I've found out how social the other person is. And I've been open about how often my partner would be over and the like. It's called being decent enough to know that certain things might bother other people!

    So anyway, are you still living in this place or are you planning on moving out? 

  2. well she refused to return my first month rent so I was stuck there for a month although I barely stayed there. I was living at a good friend's place. I am looking around again. Hopefully will find a better place to live...

    Thanks for understanding! This episode has left me feel even worse about this new place. Hopefully it will improve with time. I am super disliking London so far..