Weekend Fun: A Nightmaric Day

That was yesterday, Saturday. I utilized the entire Sunday to recover from that. What happened, you ask? Here is what happened:

I woke up Saturday morning with slight tinge of pain in my lower back. My cardio class on Friday had few side effects. But I had already made an appointment in the bank where I need to get few things done. So I had a bit of running around to do. Unfortunately, the branch of the bank I was supposed to go is about 30-35 min drive from my place, without traffic. And since this was a nightmaric day, I started late from my house and ran into traffic. I was 20 min late for my appointment (Being late for things is my most common nightmare). And that wasn’t the worst part of it. I had conveniently forgotten the documents I was supposed to have with me on my dinning table. Obviously, the appointment was over in 5 min. Can’t do anything without the information and the form, can we? And since bank would have closed by the time I would have returned with everything from home, there was no point of rushing home.

I should have simply turned back and went home at that point, anyway. However, I had plans of going to Brazos Bend State Park. I have been meaning to go there for past 4-5 months now. Since I was going to the bank which was half way to the park, so I decided to go to the park after the bank. I had the address in my GPS and everything. I had my camera and I had charged the battery. So in about 30-40 minutes more I was there, paying my entrance fee. I drove inside and parked my car near the Elm lake. Took out my camera and clicked. There was an error message on my LCD display: “No memory card.”

Last week I took out my card to test another camera (remember last week’s weekend fun?) and never put it back. So there I was, in a beautiful beautiful place, with perfect weather condition (cloudy) and no memory card. I sat there marveling my luck and getting over the shock. How can so many of my nightmares can come true on a single day? That’s when I felt it: a sharp burning bite in my left side. Initially I thought I was just imagining, but the feeling persisted and kept moving around. I found the nearest bathroom  and found a fire ant inside my jeans. And my left leg: red and swollen.

That’s when I decided to go home and sleep in my bed and not get out till this phase passes. That’s what I have been doing entire Sunday.

How about you? How was your weekend? I bet it was better than mine.

On Marriage and Such

I have been following the recent thread in blogosphere that originated at Women’s web and was taken up by quite a few bloggers including IHM, Hiphop Grandmom and others. I haven’t had time to write anything on the topic so far. But I am not postponing it any longer. So on risk of being late to office tomorrow morning, here are my two cents.

“Marriage”, as defined by Oxford dictionary, “is the formal union of a man and a woman, typically as recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife”. Why am I defining marriage for you, you ask? Because I want to emphasis on two phrases in this definition: formal union ( = social approval) and recognized by law ( = legal rights).

You see, marriage is, first and foremost, a legal, for lack of a better word, “contract”. Its second advantage is the associated social approval. Apart from that, marriage has no meaning. Okay before you jump your guns and start shooting, hear me out.

Marriage, by definition, doesn’t ensure happiness, or a committed, monogamous or meaningful relationship. True, a lot of people in a happy, committed, meaningful relationship do decide to get married. However, if they are already in a happy, committed and meaningful relationship, marriage, as such, doesn’t matter. Married or not, they will be happy with each other. If they are not in such a relationship, marriage will not give them any of the above mentioned things in that relationship. The purpose of marriage is, simply, to give couples a social approval and, of course, legal rights. Marriage does not, and can not, ensure a happy relationship.

Now going back to the original question: Are marriages sold to Indian women in glossy cover? Is marriage an over-rated institution?

I think any society that promotes marriage as a way to be in a happy relationship, is trying to pull a big one on its gullible members. In our society, its usually the women who get the short end of the stick in this scam. The Indian women are lead to believe that they can’t be really happy unless they are married or have had kids. Rather, the people around them won’t let them be happy unless they have achieved these goals. It seems, Indian women can only be happy when the society around them tells them they are happy. If they dare to be happy and content otherwise, they are tagged as being selfish. Women, by Indian society’s standard, can not and should not be happy and content by herself. So for Indian women it’s not the question of marriage being sold in glossy cover but a question of choosing between two evils: being married and be unhappy with society’s approval or be single and happy but as a society’s vamp. (Disclaimer: Not all marriages are unhappy). Guess what most women choose? (I can’t be included in this statistics as I chose to leave the country instead of choosing between these two options).

As far as the question of “marriage being an over-rated institution” is concerned: In my opinion, the legal rights associated with the marriage are very important. Ask LGBTs in a committed relationship and you will hear about horrors about what not having such a right can mean. They are not allowed to be next to their partner on their death bed. They are not allowed to attend their partners funeral. They are thrown out of the house after their partner’s death: the house that they build together and lived together in for decades.

So yes, marriage is important but we need to treat marriage as marriage: a legal contract. The moment we start using marriage as means for finding happiness: I think we are doomed to have more unhappy marriages in our society.

What do you think?

P.S.: I define a marriage unhappy or unsuccessful if either partner is unhappy. After all, a relationship can’t be happy or successful if one of the person involved is unhappy.

Thursday Challenge: Green

So this week’s Thursday challenge is “Green”. the moment I heard the topic, the images that popped up in my mind were from Golden Gate Park Japanese Tea Garden. I think that is the most greenest place I have ever been to. Honestly. Its just too green. Here are some images to prove my point. (BTW, these are never-before-seen images from my folder that has been eating dust for past two years. Hope you like them):

Okay, almost never-before-seen. I think I have published this one couple of times before.

Fascinating Aida

I think I have become a fan in an evening. This is one of few serious ones (And heart wrenching. Seriously) that I have found so far. Am going deeper in the archive now. Wish me luck!

(The group is called Fascinating Aida)

Weekend Fun

After a long long long time, I went out with my camera this weekend. Actually, my first pictures in the year 2011. It was hot but it was fun. Its always nice to sit next to a pond/lake and watch the birds.

Trolls

I am not sure if you have heard about TamTamPamela yet? In nutshell, she is a self-proclaimed “troll”. What it means is that she intentionally made some videos like the one below as a “sarcastic” (I never thought I will put that word in sarcastic quotes) comment on the religious fanatics.

This last video of hers caused a lot of back lash including threats of death and rape. Her phone number and address were disclosed at some forums which made these threats very real. She deleted her account and went into hiding. She confessed her intentions in this video (people have refused to believe her):

Okay, I don’t get the idea of making troll videos to enrage people. But that doesn’t infuriate me. What do infuriate me is the threats of rape made against her. See, that’s a very specific kind of threat. A threat that can only be made against a woman by a man. The threat that’s used to establish supremacy of man over woman. Even if she was a religious fanatic and the person making the threat was an atheist (she is an atheist troll: she makes video focused on atheism), I don’t get how the idea of rape is relevant here, except for the fact that she is a woman. Had a guy done this, would they have made the same threat? Why is that the moment a woman does anything to annoy a bunch of people, one of the first threat that comes out is of rape? Is it considered a tool of “disciplining” women by such commentators? Why else would they insinuate such a thing? And if that’s what they mean, do they really have a right to be infuriated by a religious fanatic’s video? If you ask me, they themselves are living in dark ages.

Speaking of which, her second video has a comment stating:

“Women are too stupid to be successful trolls. Get the f**k off the computer and do the dishes or something.”

Again, what is the relevance of her being a female? Had this been a guy, would this have been successful? And honestly what do they mean by “successful troll”? If it means infuriating a lot of people intentionally: I think she is one of the most successful troll I have known.

P.S.: 1. I don’t approve of such satire humor, especially in the face of tragic events as massive as Japan’s recent tragedies, but I will take it over real religious fanatics claiming the same anytime.

2. Poe’s law is being discussed extensively in this case. Poe’s law states that: it's difficult to distinguish between parodies of religious fundamentalism and genuine proponents of religious fundamentalism, since they both seem equally insane.

OMG, I have gone native!

I have started doing this all the time:

(Image linked to its source)

They tell me about a party, a get-together etc., my first question usually is  “How long (not how far) is that place?”

P.S.: I know its wrong grammatically but hey, everyone else around here understand me perfectly. And that’s the purpose of any language, isn’t it?

Defensive Driving

So I spent 6 hours yesterday attending a class on Defensive Driving. It consisted of about 5 hour video of accidents, deaths, injuries; cars toppling, screeching; parents sharing their pain, crying their eyes out.

What did I learn, you ask?

I walked to work today. I am not sure if I will be able to get behind the wheel anytime soon.

And I am not having kids. Ever. Never Ever. Never.

I think my friend is right in suggesting that I am one of those nutcases who take life way too seriously and should never be in a class like defensive driving.

Thursday Challenge: MANY

The Thursday challenge of this week is “Many” as in candies, crowd, paperclips, coins, collections: you get the drift.

So here is my entry for this week’s challenge:

 

This was taken in San Francisco China Town on the occasion of Chinese flower fair/New year celebration in January 2008. It was an amazing experience. I like to call this picture “The river of people”.