The question they ask!

So the past one week was one of the most productive week I have had in a while. I think, I was even working in my dreams. Anyway, it also meant that I wasn’t blogging (as you might have noticed) or twittering, or mailing or facebooking (ok I did work on my farm but nothing else). So here I am again, after missing two Friday favs in row {*head hanging in shame*}, trying to convince you guys to be a bit more understanding. (I will post three Friday Fav this Friday, I promise, that too, in separate posts. I already have the songs picked up, I just didn’t get time to post.)

Today, I had to take a break from my productive streak to finish a few chores that I have been postponing, like, filling out Visa forms, vehicle registration and stuffs. I know, I know, it’s far more important than the work, but once the productivity bug bites me, it’s pretty hard for me to think about, let alone do, anything else. So today I finally filled out the Visa questionnaire sent by the company. And as usual, dearest immigration department had to ask those delightful questions. And I, again, can’t resist my urge to post my actual replies, had I been given a box to write them out instead of the ‘Yes’ and ‘No’. Actually let me write down my response as it went in my head as I went through the questions.


Have you ever, in or outside the U.S. knowingly committed any crime of moral turpitude or a drug-related offense for which you have not been arrested?

Huh, No.


Have you ever, in or outside the U.S. been arrested, cited, charged, indicted, fined, or imprisoned for breaking or violating any law or ordinance, excluding traffic violations?

Nope.


Have you ever, in or outside the U.S. been the beneficiary of a pardon, amnesty, rehabilitation decree, other act of clemency or similar action?

Again no. Though I do beg people’s pardon occasionally as I was told it was polite to do so. I hope they do
pardon me on those occasions so by that logic I have been beneficiary of a pardon or two.


Have you ever, in or outside the U.S. exercised diplomatic immunity to avoid prosecution for a criminal offense in the U.S.?

Diplomacy had never been my cup of tea so I guess I can safely say that I am immune to diplomatic immunity.


Have you ever within the past 10 years been a prostitute or procured anyone for prostitution, or intend to engage in such activities in the future?

Come again?


Have you ever engaged in any unlawful commercialized vice, including, but not limited to, illegal gambling?

I have been to Las Vegas twice so far and haven’t spent a single dime on gambling so a big no for gambling: legal or illegal. However I have no idea about any other commercialized vice: Is celebrating Valentine’s day a commercialized vice?


Have you ever illicitly trafficked in any controlled substance, or knowingly assisted, abetted or colluded in the illicit trafficking of any controlled substance?

Do pickles count? Not that I trafficked any pickles at any time. Just curious.


Do you intend to engage in the U.S. in espionage?

What kind of spy will answer this question in affirmative? Again, I am just curious. What’s the point of this question?


Did you, during the period March 23, 1933 to May 8, 1945, in association with either the Nazi Government of Germany or any organization or government associated or allied with the Nazi Government of Germany, ever order, incite, assist or otherwise participate in the persecution of any person because of race, religion, national origin or political opinion?

I wasn’t even born, dude. Forget that, not even my parents were alive back then.


Have you ever been deported from the U.S., or removed from the U.S. at government expense, excluded within the past year, or are you now in exclusion or deportation proceedings?

Right and I am trying to fool you by applying for this visa. So basically you think that I think you are dumb, right?


Have you ever been a J nonimmigrant exchange visitor?

Hahaha..you think Indian government cares if I return there or not? Hahahahahehehehohohoho… {*Pointing and laughing*}


Are you now withholding custody of a U.S. Citizen child outside the U.S. from a person granted custody of the child?

No child boss. And if I had one, I would have given back if there is someone claiming his or her custody. My policy: children and pets are great, if they are someone else’s. You get to play with them and return back. No responsibility, all fun.


Do you plan to practice polygamy in the U.S.?

Hmm..how do I answer this? I am having problem with Mono, good sir, Poly will be too much to handle.

Will you have access to controlled technology? (Nuclear materials, chemicals, microorganisms, toxins, materials processing, electronics, computers, telecommunications and information security, sensors, lasers, navigation, avionics, marine, propulsion systems, space vehicles or related materials or equipment.)

Wow! Space vehicles. Can I have one? Please, please pleeease. Pretty Please? Cherry on the top please?

Oh well, it’s so much fun filling up the visa forms. I just hate the other paper work involved with it. Scan this, scan that, get pay slips, bank statements, rental agreements and God only knows what else.
I am going back to my productive streak from tomorrow (I hope I didn’t loose it). Yeah, yeah I remember my promise. 3 posts coming up for you on Friday. Till then..

Here is to Love

Over past 10 days, I checked my mails twice, my Facebook account once, logged in and posted on my blog once (last Friday) and didn’t watch TV at all. Now can you imagine how much fun I was having for last few days that I didn’t need any of my usual (aforementioned) means of entertainment? So do you really want me to apologize for having such a good time and thus, neglecting the blog? I thought so.

At the moment, I am endeavoring to return to the real world. All I can post today is this beautiful rose. Enjoy, I will be back soon enough…

February Friday Favorite: Yeh zulfon ki bikhri ghata

Okay I am too tired today to write a real post. I could only put up the song I had planned for today. It's a beautiful song by my favorite singer Asha Bhosle. Music by Rajesh Roshan and lyrics by Anjaan. Hope you like this beautiful song.

Enjoy...

In response to…

“it is simple, there are lot of hot and serious issues to discussed and debated like genocide in Kashmir by the great army of your great nation. These are futile issues, any body is gay or lesbian, doesn't matter. People r not used to it that is y it looks funny to them but in coming decade people won't feel like that. You should write how communistic tendencies have become elitetistic in this pseudo-secular n antidemocratic country?
You should write about the Imperialistic and colonial tendencies of your great nation instead ............ !! Please channelize your creative tendencies to revolutionize your nation not to harp on a non-issue.”

As you might have guessed it, this is a comment that I received on my last post. This isn’t the first time I have heard someone trivializing the Gay issue because according to them, there are far more pressing issues in the world to talk about.

Well, if being Gay is such a non-issue then why almost all the religious sects, including Christianity, Islam and Hinduism (for once they agree on something) prohibit the homosexuality and do everything possible (= spend a lot of money and resources) to make life difficult for Homosexuals and whenever possible, attempt to criminalize homosexuality with the penalty of death? Why are homosexuals tortured - mentally, socially and physically, beaten- at times beaten to death, murdered and hanged all the time? In South Africa, lesbians are being raped in order to turn them heterosexual (read this brilliant post by Sparky on how less the life of a homosexual is valued in today’s world). How can all this be a non-issue? It’s a worldwide genocide condoned by all religious sect and quite often by the Government.  Just because you or anyone you know haven’t suffered yet due to this, it doesn’t mean that it becomes a non-issue. And if you can laugh at this genocide and try to trivialize it, with what right do you expect anyone to be sympathetic to your cause? How can you be indifferent towards one genocide while fighting against the other?

On a side note, I have often posted about how woman in our society are at the lowest levels. Well, congratulations ladies, we have found a group even lower than us on the social ladder: The LGBTs. Why else would a reputed news channel as BBC, dare to run a survey on its website asking if homosexuals should face execution? The key word being “if”, as if it is an option worth considering: should we legally kill another human for the “non-issue” crime of homosexuality? (Yeah, it’s such a non-issue! How does it matter if we kill homosexuals or not?)  It was later retracted by BBC but yet they did put it there in the first place, as if it was a legitimate question to ask. At least no news channel, even an Indian news channel, will put up a poll asking if we should execute women, will it now? (Worst: Such questions are actually debated in the parliaments of many countries and are passed as laws. Non-issue? Really?)

CREDITS: Most of the issues raised here as well as the references came from Sparky’s site. Please do visit his wonderful site for more info.


P.S.: 1. As for my opinion on Kashmir issue, I wrote about it here (well I paraphrased most of it from Vir Sanghvi’s article on the same subject but then I do agree with him on the issue..).


2. I don’t understand this line in the comment above:
“ You should write how communistic tendencies have become elitetistic in this pseudo-secular n antidemocratic country?”
Anyone care to explain it? I am scratching my head here.

I don’t understand

I don’t understand why being gay is so funny for Indian audience. Honestly, Indians laugh/snigger whenever someone mentions or accuses of someone else (especially a guy) being gay (in a movie or in reality). What is so funny about someone being gay? Please do share the joke..

I don’t understand why writing about gay and gay rights such a taboo? I have been advised by my friends that I should not write about the subject so often. If you ask them why, they simply shrug and say that people might get wrong ideas but they never explains what wrong ideas. (Any of you have any of these aforementioned “wrong ideas”, please let me know. I won’t publish your comment but at least I would know. I am really curious).

Anyone?

(Img src: http://5.media.tumblr.com/XO6T2i0sqgqo01kiVg0Y9jkHo1_400.gif)