The Emotions of Relocation

So the relocation company helping me out with the move, sent me this document titled “Your Positive Relocation”. According to this “brochure”, there are five emotional stages of relocation: 1. Confusion & Denial; 2. Anger; 3. Loss & Depression; 4. Resentment; and finally, 5. Acceptance. I think I am somewhere between stage two and three. I remember being in stage one for quite a long time, actually till a week before the move at which point I could no longer deny it. And now its a mixture of the next two stages.

So my stuff arrived four days ago, which is good, except it looks so alien in this new apartment. It simply doesn’t belong here. To start with my student time furniture and stuff is no match to this nice, a bit upscale apartment (one advantage of being in Texas: for the same price, I get a better apartment in a nice place). It just give a feeling of being out of place, old and dirty. And it didn’t help when one of the mover commented on the weight and size (27”) of my TV which is unlike the TVs these days that are light, big, and very portable.

The house is a mess at the moment. I didn’t know how much stuff I have till it was time to move: about 50 boxes to fit everything I owned plus furniture, cycle, TV etc and not to mention the two suitcases (the big ones, you know the ones that every Indian living abroad owns. Well almost every Indian) that I had with me when I flew to Texas. Honestly, I could have organized everything much faster than its taking me. I just don’t have the spirit or enthusiasm to do so. Everything fitted so perfectly in my old home. I bought those things for that home because they worked there. They were the right fit. Now I don’t know how to arrange these old things in the new apartment. I just don’t. It doesn’t work. And again the feeling of these things of not belonging in this new place overwhelms me and I give up.

Its the small things too. Like every time I fondle with my keys to search for the apartment key, I automatically look for the silver key I have been using for past five years to discover with a surprise (each and every time) that it’s no longer there. I have this golden alien key that opens the apartment door. Weird.

Or,when I simply walk out of the door to do something, anything, I realize that I have no idea where the nearest store, or post office, or bank, or ANYTHING is. I have to walk back and switch on the laptop to find it.

Or, the fact that I don’t even know whether its safe to drink water directly from the tap. In my own home.

Or when the intrusion alarm start beeping whenever I open the balcony door. EACH AND EVERY TIME. I am simply not used to having an intrusion alarm.

Or the fact that my GPS, my old and faithful GPS, Disha (yes, I have a habit of naming my gadgets), don’t have an advanced lane guidance which makes it impossible to use it in this big city of road mazes where every highway has two names and has a toll for using certain lanes.

The fact that I am living off my savings at the moment doesn’t help either.

I can only hope the stage five arrives soon and brings some kind of joy with it.

P.S.: Sorry for the disjointed post. I just wrote down the train of thoughts, I guess. This post very much feel like my house at the moment: A mess.

UPDATE: I replied to all the previous comments. Sorry for the delay.