Desi or non-desi

As I posted yesterday about the possibility of Tajel being an Indian. I simply can't stop thinking about it ever since. If she is Indian, then she is marrying someone non-Indian. Well, Dr. Khumalo doesn't sound like an Indian name to me. I can be wrong though. And she is marrying a professor. Hmmm....let me think. The words that are coming to my mind are 'disgrace', 'scandal' etc. etc. You get an idea.

I am not saying that I am against it but honestly I am amazed to see her parents being so supportive about it. Watch 'Bend it like Beckham' to understand the issue. A desi marrying a non-desi is a big deal. And it's just not movies. It's for real. I happen to know someone who is third generation Indian (her grandparents moved to US) and her family has trouble accepting an American boy-friend.

When I got accepted to Stanford and was leaving, everyone in my office told me to get engaged before I go to US (Really. I am not joking.). And when I simply ignored the advice, they had different approach. Few said that marry anyone, but don't marry a muslim. Some told me never to marry a Pakistani. Others had objection with marrying a black. Some were very specific and told me to only marry a desi. Otherwise.... well some said they won't come to my wedding while others promised to sever all contacts with me. You see, what I mean.

They are liberal enough to allow me to date and go for a love-marriage, unlike our parent's or grand-parent's generation but he should be a Desi.

I thought love is blind. What if I fall in love with a non-desi? What then? Why do I need to disqualify everyone who doesn't happen to born in India? Does that mean they are not good enough for me (or any Indian, for that matter)? And does being associated with India make someone more desirable? I don't believe that it's about cultural differences. India is a multicultural country. North Indian culture is different from South Indian. Bengali's are different from Gujarati and so on. Don't they overcome their differences and get married (rarely but they do). So if it's possible, then why is marrying a non-desi such a big deal? Or are we just too arrogant to accept a non-desi amongst ourselves, not as a friend (that's not a problem) but as a family?

I believe in human beings. I think there are all types of people in every culture and we can't generalize them. You can find the best of humans in the worst of the places as long as you are not blinded by racial prejudices...